Batten down the hatches. Peter Nuttall unveils the worst lyrics of all time, and trust me, none of your most favorite artists are safe from ridicule. Whether it be the worst attempts at rhyming lyrics, poor grammar or geography, or scientifically impossible notions, the author presents the absolute worst lyrics – separated by decades, and broken down year by year.
The journey begins with Dean Martin’s “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore,” and progresses through the most recent tragic attempts at writing pop songs. Sadly in many cases, most of the songs on Nuttall’s list were actually hit records on the Billboard charts. The author also devotes a chapter devoted to highly offensive lyrics. I must admit, I was surprised by just how raunchy lyrics are these days.
Nuttall does identify his all time worst lyric writer. Of course, you will have to buy the book to learn who earned this dubious distinction, but here is a taste of the worst from this fascinating survey. “I’m like a one-eyed cat peeping in a seafood store.” Wait, this is a rock ‘n’ roll classic line, so why is it included? This is just a prime example that many hit songs are included, including popular acts such as Michael Jackson, Madonna, Oasis, Bob Dylan, Pink Floyd. The Rolling Stones, and Will Smith.
I believe a whole book could be written on the bad lyrics composed by Duran Duran. From “Hungry Like the Wolf,” we have “I smell like I sound.” The nonsensical lyric “The reflex is in charge of finding treasure in the dark,” obviously comes from “The Reflex,” only the reflex isn’t a person. The author also explains why “Is there something I should know” makes his list.
Some classic bad lines as revealed in the book include “coast to coast, LA to Chicago,” by Sade in “Smooth Operator” which is classic bad elementary geography. Snap’s “The Power” utters the laughable line “I’m the lyrical of Jesse James.” As the author notes, there is simply nothing than compares to being compared lyrically to a old western bank and train robber. “Thunder only happens when it’s raining,” of course, simply not the case.
With that said, I have barely touched the surface of the bad lyrics covered in “The Worst Lyrics of all Time.” The author does a superb job of exposing the worst lyrics, blended with a mix of sarcasm for an enjoyable journey. Hats off to Peter McGiffen for providing brilliant narration for this highly recommended work!
By: Peter Nuttall
Narrated by: Peter McGiffen
Length: 4 hrs and 48 mins
Release date: 08-14-23
Publisher: Peter Nuttall